“Giving birth and being born brings us into the essence of creation, where the human spirit is courageous and bold and the body, a miracle of wisdom.”
Dear Sisters, if you have a look at the Arabic word ‘raham,’ referring to the womb, it is the original derivation of the word ‘mercy’. Now, how beautiful it is to be blessed with mercy on the month of mercy itself? How honorable it is that Allah has chosen you for continuing the Holy Prophet’s (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) ummah and at the same time, given you a whole precious month to cherish this beautiful change in yourself. The blessing of being pregnant or just having given birth while the beautiful month of Ramadan falls upon us is truly something to be treasured. During pregnancy, ‘purification of the soul’ isn’t exactly the main thought engulfing our minds, especially since it is difficult physically and at times overwhelmingly emotional, more so during the early stage of motherhood. The hormonal imbalance coupled with mood swings, frequent urination, headaches and back pain do not seem to make the month of a Ramadan exactly the best of experiences. Nevertheless, it is your choice whether or not to make this month the most memorable and productive experience of your life or to spend it struggling and whining.
Below are a few tips insha Allah to the new moms and moms-to-be, to help them make this holy month a productive experience which they will cherish for the rest of their life.
What should I add to the Ramadan checklist?
- First of all make your to-do list, organize your schedule so that you get enough sleep. Even if your family and friends stay up late, you may need to mark this Ramadan with more quiet, restful time.
- Cut down on housework and anything that tires you out.
- Make the appointments and regular medical checkups on your plan slots in a way so that you can balance your ibadah time more on the other days.
- For the Moms; know your baby habits and plan accordingly. You might not complete your whole checklists but at least you can reach your nearest goals. Remember fasting is not the only goal of Ramadan. It is the means that Allah has chosen for us to gain taqwa (God-consciousness) during this blessed month. So if you can’t fast, engage in other taqwa- strengthening activities.
How to cope with fasting?
- “The reward of deeds depends upon the intentions and every person will get the reward according to what he has intended” [Al-Bukhari]. So make it your intention to fast this Ramadan. If your body rejects this idea later on, that’s okay. Allah (ta aala) knows.
- If you are in the first trimester of your pregnancy, this is when the fetus is being created; you can easily fast if there are no complications affecting your pregnancy. If you suffer from a lot of vomiting and craving then know this that if you cannot help vomiting and vomit involuntarily, then your fast is still valid and you do not have to do make up that day. Try to avoid acidic or greasy foods that will give you heartburn, especially before bed.
- In the second trimester of pregnancy (fourth, fifth and sixth month), the uterus gets heavy and blood circulation to it increases. One of the substantial physiological phenomena is the low blood pressure which causes dizziness and sometimes fainting after standing for a long time. In such cases it is advised to take large quantities of fluids, especially in summer in order to avoid stress. If you’re used to having a lot of caffeinated drinks, such as coffee, tea and cola, cut back before you fast; this will help prevent withdrawal headaches.
- In the last trimester of pregnancy (the seventh, eighth and ninth month) it is advised to take small quantities of balanced diets. Filling the stomach will cause indigestion. Fasting is the best medical prescription that will make you active and light. You must eat a lot of dates upon breaking the fast; because it provides you with enough energy for the whole day.
- If you are breastfeeding and Ramadan has entered upon you, have your trust in Allah and increase in supplications to Him to facilitate for you. Take all precautions necessary, take a lot of fluids between iftar and sahoor as well as a lot of vegetables. Diversify the elements of food to give you and your child a reservoir of energy and to help in the generation of breast milk. Remember what Allah (ta aala) says to us in Surah Al-Baqarah, when telling us about Ramadan. “Allah intends for you ease and does not intend for you hardship” [Al-Baqarah: 185] If you find that it is too difficult, give thanks to Allah, for He has given you a special gift: you can make up these days later.
Don’t forget the Daddy or the Daddy-to- be
- Pregnancy is an emotional roller coaster. Ease your mind by sharing your fears, hopes, and excitement with your spouse.
- Learn about parenting together, know your roles. Ramadan is the best month to start practicing in the best way you want the lifestyle to be implemented in your children. Remember, children learn what they see.
- Involve him. While in most cases the mother gets busy with the new born, the fathers feel left out. Make him part of it; suggest him to memorize certain juz or parts of the Qur’an that you want to recite while you put your newborn to sleep. Even a six-month-old fetus can move his body to the rhythm of his mother’s speech. What better gift could you give the baby than bonding him/her with the words of Allah?
- Discuss the changes you both are going to go through and enjoy the moments while you both are expecting. “Pregnancy is the state that obliges you to surrender to the unseen force behind all life.” • Never, never, never be ungrateful to Allah for the pregnancy even if you feel unprepared to deal with this challenge. Allah is the best of planners.
- Make dua for the protection of your baby. Remember Imran’s wife (Hanne) said: “My Lord! Surely I have vowed to You what is in my womb (baby to be born) freely (to obey and serve You only); so accept (this) from me, verily, You are the All-Hearing, the All-Knowing”. [Al-Imraan :35] In the next ayah we see that she sought refuge in Allah for her baby and its decendants from Shaytan, the expelled.
- Place children under Allah’s protection by the dua. Ibn ‘Abaas related that the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) used to commend Al-Hasan and Al-Husayn to Allah’s protection, saying: “I seek protection for you in the Perfect Words of Allah from every devil and every beast and from every envious blameworthy eye.”
- Be in the constant state of istighfaar and make lots and lots of dua.
- Try to stay connected with Allah 24/7. Keep talking to Him. Involve Him in your decisions. Make istikharah each step of the way (regarding which doctor to go to, which hospital to choose, etc.). Ask Him to grant you a safe delivery, a pious child and a happy life together as a family.
